By skyforbes 
⸻
It starts the same every time: Someone says, “You have to see this TikTok!” and proceeds to shove their phone in my face while I pretend I know how to react to a 3-second clip of a dancing grandma who’s also apparently a stock market genius.
But here’s my truth: I don’t TikTok.
Not in secret. Not in shame.
Just… not at all.
And if you’re nodding along right now, welcome — you’re among the few, the proud, the not-chronically-scrolling.
We Are the Offline Unicorns
In a world where toddlers are going viral and golden retrievers have endorsement deals, choosing not to participate in the TikTok phenomenon feels like declining a free dessert in a bakery. People look at you like you’ve committed a crime against whimsy.
But the thing is…
There’s something wildly liberating about not needing to perform, curate, or “go viral.” We’re like analog radios in a sea of Bluetooth speakers: old-school, a little fuzzy, but entirely our own vibe.
⸻
What We’re Not Doing While Not TikToking
1. We’re not measuring joy by views.
No need to wonder if your funny thought deserved more likes. You thought it. It was funny. That’s enough.
2. We’re not learning dances we’ll forget in four days.
Our backs thank us. Our dignity thanks us.
3. We’re not slowly transforming into algorithms in sweatpants.
We read books. We people-watch. We go outside and don’t film it.
⸻
We’re Also Not Holier-Than-Thou. Promise.
TikTok can be funny, brilliant, and oddly educational (I now know what a capybara is, thanks to a friend’s relentless enthusiasm). But choosing not to be on it isn’t a rejection of fun — it’s a reclaiming of brain space. Of quiet. Of being a little mysterious in a world obsessed with sharing everything.
⸻
The Weird Upside? People Think You’re an Enigma.
When people find out you’re not on TikTok, they react like they’ve just met someone who doesn’t own a microwave. “How do you live?” they whisper, eyes wide.
And you just smile, sip your coffee, and say:
“I don’t scroll. I observe.”
⸻
So here’s to the TikTok-less.
The non-performers.
The delightfully unoptimized.
We’re not anti-technology. We’re just pro-intentionality.
And no, we don’t want to see your “For You” page.
We’ve got a “For Me” page, and it’s called real life.