By skyforbes 
MSOffice is so ‘90s
# # # NT NEWSWIRE [NEW YORK]
In the gloom of cold autumn Midtown Manhattan rain, we anxiously await to be let into to the blue-ish-green glass office tower past the somewhat surly (and rightly so, seeing the gathered rag-tag bunch of reporters damp from the rain; a panhandler could easily sneak in among us without detection and gain full access to the corporate snack trays) security guards into the building’s first floor auditorium to hear the results of Corporation X’s [actual company name under press embargo and NDA] experiment to replace Microsoft Office with TikTok.
“Everybody likes TikTok, from Pre-and/or-Post-Millennials to grandmothers sharing kitty-cat videos with their grand-auntie friends,” one of the gathered reported mused out loud.
“Yeah, I mean… spreadsheets are so boring. And macros, don’t even get me started. Gag me with a spoon!” one GenX reporter from Southern California reminisced.
“Everything is video now anyway? Powerpoints? Pfft! Remember how the olds mocked the whole ‘pivot to video?’ Who’s laughing now, laughing boy?!” a GenZ reporter commented, perhaps discriminatorily, out loud. Of course age discrimination is really the only kind of discrimination that is socially acceptable in the US any more, so: point taken. Apparently, people have to save up their discriminatory impulses and re-direct them to the olds, using phrases such as “OK, Boomer.” Why they keep saying OK with respect to a nuclear missile carrying submarine that protected us from the Soviet Union via the Mutually Assured Destruction principle, this reporter doesn’t really know. Maybe it is Cold War nostalgia?
“Why email or message when you can send a full vertical phone format video, maybe even an AI generated video, to tell about your progress on the cycle plan or the 4th quarter budget?” one reporter who moonlighted as a fractional COO for a cookie baking startup questioned rhetorically.
“And TikTok is free!” another reporter commented, this one moonlighting as a chief financial officer (also fractional) for a Chinese electric vehicle importing startup. Strictly gray market. But still. We don’t think he fully accounted for the free-ness, considering that your data and activity gets vacuumed up and also the content you create. But that’s accounting for you. It’s all about the samoleons.
Also, by “free,” we think he was referencing in contrast the rather large corporate lease prices of Microsoft software, including the constant need to upgrade Windows and thereby also upgrade the hardware it runs on. Windows 10 is out of support now, did you know that? Well-well. Time to upgr —
[Editor’s note: Our reporter’s transmission was cut off, perhaps due to the new Windows 10 attack vector that hit his Microsoft Surface laptop with detachable keyboard and soft-feel Alcantra palm rests that get grimy if you merely look at them, let alone type while eating trail mix.]