By skyforbes Growing up, I was always the "ghost" of the family gatherings. My parents favored my older brother and younger sister, who were both stellar athletes and social butterflies. I was the quiet one who liked reading and coding. I wasn't just overlooked; I was actively ignored. My opinions were dismissed, my achievements (like getting into my dream college on scholarship) were met with a shrug, and I was often left out of major family discussions or vacations.
When I moved out for college, the silence was deafeningly mutual. I tried a few times to reach out, sending cards or making calls, but my messages went unanswered or were returned with one-word replies. I eventually stopped trying and built my own life, creating my own chosen family with friends who actually supported me. I changed my number, moved cities after graduating, and faded completely from their lives five years ago. It hurt, but the peace was worth it.
Now, my parents are facing a financial crisis. A bad investment wiped out a significant chunk of their retirement savings, and they're facing potential foreclosure on the house I grew up in.
Out of the blue, my sister texted me last week. The text started with "We miss you so much! It's been too long!" followed quickly by a detailed explanation of their financial plight and the exact figure they need to save the house. They want me to lend them a substantial amount of money—nearly half of my life savings.
I called my sister back and very calmly asked her, "When was the last time any of you genuinely asked how I was doing, without needing something from me?" She got defensive, talking about "family obligations" and how I was being selfish.
I refused point blank. I told her that they had made it abundantly clear for twenty years that I was not a priority or even a consideration in their family unit, and that my money would go towards the people who actually showed up for me when I needed support. I told them they could "reconnect" with my bank account the same time they found the time to reconnect with me emotionally: never.
They’re calling me cold-hearted and say I'm letting my parents become homeless out of spite.
AITAH?
When I moved out for college, the silence was deafeningly mutual. I tried a few times to reach out, sending cards or making calls, but my messages went unanswered or were returned with one-word replies. I eventually stopped trying and built my own life, creating my own chosen family with friends who actually supported me. I changed my number, moved cities after graduating, and faded completely from their lives five years ago. It hurt, but the peace was worth it.
Now, my parents are facing a financial crisis. A bad investment wiped out a significant chunk of their retirement savings, and they're facing potential foreclosure on the house I grew up in.
Out of the blue, my sister texted me last week. The text started with "We miss you so much! It's been too long!" followed quickly by a detailed explanation of their financial plight and the exact figure they need to save the house. They want me to lend them a substantial amount of money—nearly half of my life savings.
I called my sister back and very calmly asked her, "When was the last time any of you genuinely asked how I was doing, without needing something from me?" She got defensive, talking about "family obligations" and how I was being selfish.
I refused point blank. I told her that they had made it abundantly clear for twenty years that I was not a priority or even a consideration in their family unit, and that my money would go towards the people who actually showed up for me when I needed support. I told them they could "reconnect" with my bank account the same time they found the time to reconnect with me emotionally: never.
They’re calling me cold-hearted and say I'm letting my parents become homeless out of spite.
AITAH?