By skyforbes When he accepted I wasn't staying with him he moved in with Anna and her daughter. I communicated directly with my ex and only via email or text and only about our children. There is no close co-parenting relationship, there's no we can all be friends. My ex and Anna are not my friends, they are not my family and I dislike both of them. Anna reached out a few times and said we should be supporting each other and working as a family of three parents. I ignored her if she was texting/emailing this and in person I told her one time that we will never be friends or family and I did not want her brushing what she and my ex did under the rug and expecting me to be okay with it. She did try after that but I simply ignore her.
A couple of weeks ago Anna approached me at a school function for my two kids (her daughter goes to a different school) and she told me her sitter is no longer able to babysit her daughter after school. She asked me if I would pick her daughter up every Friday and babysit until 8pm. I already do this for my two children but they don't get picked up until 5pm on Friday's because they have activities after school. Anna's daughter was always with a sitter. She told me I might not want to be her friend but I should be willing to help her out because of the kids.
I asked her if she was aware my ex was married when they started having their affair, if she was aware he was married with kids when she started sleeping with him. At first she refused to answer and I waited for her to say something. She admitted she knew he was married with kids. Then I told her I would give her the same consideration she gave me and my kids who she was trying to use as leverage in this. I told her I would not babysit and she had no right to use my kids as a reason why I should help her. I reminded her that she gladly slept with their father while he was still married to me and even though he shared a majority of the responsibility, she helped destroy their family and therefore she had no right to expect me to help or to use my children as some sort of bargaining chip when she didn't give a fuck about any of us when she screwed a married man.
She started to say something else but I moved on and I went to my children (who weren't able to see or hear us during this discussion) and I refused to be caught alone by her again. She texted me after the function and told me I wasn't being very kind to her daughter but I ignored this. Then she told me it wasn't okay for me to quit her just to throw the answer back in her face and I need to get over the cheating.
My ex emailed asking why I couldn't watch all three kids on Friday's if I'm already keeping our two. I told him I gave my answer to Anna already and I would not be clarifying further. He texted me that I was being petty and Anna's daughter doesn't deserve punishment for her mom. Then he also brought up the question I asked and the way I used it against Anna and he said it wasn't fair.
My oldest gave me a heads up when my kids got back from my ex's last week that their dad and Anna are pretty pissed at me. The kids weren't told anything directly but heard their dad and Anna talk about me. I informed my attorney about this and we have it documented.
I don't feel like I was wrong for saying no but maybe it's the dislike for my ex and Anna that makes me say this. Maybe I did too much and could have simply said no and left it there. Or maybe I shouldn't be saying no at all? AITAH?