By skyforbes My fiancée and I recently started discussing wedding plans and financial expectations going forward that’s when I realized we have totally different goals and views on things. Our first issue was what she wanted to spend on the wedding. First time we met to discuss things with a planner I was blindsided thinking this was a first meeting when it seems that my fiancé already have the entire thing planned in her mind and simple needed to go over cost. In all the whole thing would cost about 35k and I personally think it’s ridiculous to spend that amount on a wedding. Especially when my fiancée makes barely more than that a year.
After that meeting, we met later in the week to go over our finances because I thought that was important. I was shocked to know that she does not have any savings at all despite living with parents and have no bills besides phone and streaming services. She’s got lots of credit card debt that she making minimum payments one
When we went over my sides of things, she pointed out that it wouldn’t change anything for me if I take the 35k out of my savings to pay for the wedding. I pointed out that my liquid savings is for emergency, I have it so that I can quit my job at any point and be able to maintain my lifestyle for at least 6 months without changing anything.
The biggest issue came when she found out that I have been covering my brother’s mortgage for a year and a half and plan on doing so for the next 6 months more. I explained to her why I was doing it ( my brother paid for most of my college and recently went into a ton of debt because his daughter had a serious surgery that left them in a tons of debt. And my cover his mortgage (1700) for two years was my birthday gift to him two years ago while they got back on their feet)
She demanded that I stop helping my brother and at that point I told her between the crazy wedding cost and asking me to not help my brother. She and I were not compatible.
My mother and sister have been telling me I’m not doing the right thing and i need to find a middle ground with her. I feel like an AH? I feel like financial compatibility is extremely important and I don’t think she and I value the same things when it comes to money and family.
AITAH for calling of the wedding and breaking up?