By skyforbes My wife asked our daughter was seven times seven was. Our daughter said she didn't know. My wife kept telling her to try to think of any answer. She kept saying she didn't know. My wife was getting frustrated. Our daughter finally guessed 37. My wife said "close, 47."
Our thirteen year old then said "no mom, it's 49." My wife snapped at that point and told him to shut up and go upstairs. He went into the backyard instead. She took a deep breath and then went into our room. I finished with our four year old and then went outside. I tried to talk to him, but he didn't want to listen. He kept saying "but dad, seven times seven is 49." I told him his mom just got frustrated and didn't mean to yell at him. He kept insisting that seven times seven in 49 (which I am aware of), so I got nowhere.
I went back inside to talk to my wife. She said she knew she shouldn't have yelled. She said she was frustrated because he was distracting her, and that's why she made the mistake. I pointed out that she made the mistake before he said anything. She started crying and asked why I was being so critical. I apologized and told her I loved her. We hugged it out, but then I asked her if she was going to go and apologize to our 13 year old. She said no, because he shouldn't have interrupted her. She said he was rude and needed to learn not to interrupt.
I told her it's not okay to tell him to shut up. We went back and forth, and finally I said I won't be able to respect her as much if she doesn't apologize. That really hurt her. She said she needed space. She hasn't said a word to me or him since Thursday. I know that what I said is harsh, but I can't respect someone who won't apologize when they make a mistake. Am I the asshole? My sister says I am because I'm not being supportive and our 13yo is "a lot."
Update: My wife got up before our alarm and started cleaning our bathroom. I started the laundry and made breakfast. She didn't say a word when she sat down to eat. She ate much faster than normal. She stood up, picked up our four year old and told our nine year old to get ready because they were going to the library. She didn't say anything to our thirteen year old. I told her we need to talk, and she shook her head.
I followed her upstairs and insisted that we need to talk. She just kept shaking her head. She went into our four year old's room and locked the door. I went downstairs and told our thirteen and nine year old that we are going to the dog park. They both asked if Mom was okay, and I said yes and that she needed space. I grabbed some clothes for our nine year old from the laundry room, and she got changed in the downstairs bathroom. We are at the dog park, and my wife is refusing to answer my texts. I'm starting to think this isn't about math.