By skyforbes I knew from the beginning that I didn’t want to keep her but unfortunately by the time I found out I was unable to get a temrination. I ended up giving her to a lovely couple. I worked with and was friends with the husband and he had opened up to me previously about how he and his wife had been struggling with infertility and were looking into adoption.
I met his wife lots of times and they were absolutely lovely. They had a nice house in a nice area of our city and while I was in the position where I could raise a child, I knew that with them the baby would be happier, healthier and infinitely more loved. They were good loving people and I knew they could provide a good life. When I gave birth I had love for my baby but still those maternal instincts to care for her weren’t very strong. She went with them.
I continued to work with my coworker for about a year before moving to he closer to my parents, I never told them or anyone about my pregnancy. I had told my coworker I was happy for them but that I didn’t want to know anything about her. I thought about her from time to time hoped she was doing well but other than that she was not very present in my mind.
It’s been 25 years since then, I’ve married and my husband and I have a great life, still no kids but we are happy. I live near family and friends and my life is peaceful. However I got a message from my old coworker 2 weeks ago saying that their daughter found out who I was and was considering messaging me and lo and behold a few days later I got a message on Facebook. Turns out she goes to university in my city and I agreed to one conversation.
She seemed nice, she said she had a great life and that she was happy. She asked if why I gave her up and if I ever thought about her, I told her the truth that I just didn’t want kids and that she crossed my mind now and again but not a too often. She asked if I wished I had kept her and I told her the truth. I tried to be nice by saying I couldn’t have given her a nearly as good life and that I didn’t regret it because again I didn’t want to be a mother. She got a bit upset after that and she cut the meeting short and I haven’t heard from her since accept for a message from her dad saying thanks for meeting with her.
I did feel bad because I clearly upset her but she’s a grown woman and I didn’t feel right lying to her when there’s a chance the lie I tell could make her feel worse but my husband said I maybe could have worded it more gently but I felt that I said what was the most honest without being overly cruel or harsh but I did seem to upset her so AITAH?