Alien: Earth (2025) – Series review – What kind of idiot writes such crap?

If stupidity had a script

Dante was wrong. There are not nine circles of hell, but eight episodes of Alien Earth. Anyone who survives them all has more stamina than any confessor in Florence. After Willow, the bloodied Star Wars series, Marvel’s permanent burnout, Indiana Jones in retirement mode, and those grotesque remakes that look like they were dreamed up by a theme park’s AI, now we have this thing. A series that thinks it’s profound just because everyone’s faces look like they understand the script. Who’s behind it? Probably someone who thought “suspense” would arise if you took away everything that makes a main character human. Our main character, let’s call her Wendy with the problematic fringe, looks like she writes for a liberal lifestyle magazine about oat milk and inner balance. In reality, however, she takes down aliens as if she were the final boss in a first-person shooter. In episode three, she kicks a beast’s ass so uncompromisingly that even the Predator from “Alien vs. Predator” would politely applaud. This is about as exciting as watching wall paint dry. Disney now has a knack for turning villains into figures of fun. Boba Fett is a tired old politician, Grand Admiral Thrawn has a beer belly, and the Predator from Prey didn’t stand a chance against an untrained girl. Scar from “The Lion King”…