By skyforbes 
DISCLAIMER:
This blog post is not a diagnostic tool. I am not a doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, nurse, counselor or therapist. I have, however, been treated by all six but none realised I was autistic! I was diagnosed aged 26 and only found out because of a post like this one.
Do you ever feel like a foreigner?
As though everyone around you is operating on a level you can’t entirely tune into?
Autism is often called ‘wrong planet syndrome‘ because autistics tend not to sync up with others.
We live in our own little worlds and everyone else is an alien.
The catch? They think we’re the aliens.
You’re sensitive to your surroundings
A trip to the shop isn’t a simple, painless errand; it’s an ordeal.
You feel attacked by bright lights, loud sounds and other sensory stimuli others seem to have no issue with at all.
You’re chronically unemployed
Only 1 in 6 autistic adults in the UK are in full-time employment.
Most autistic people who attempt college or university never graduate. Only 34% make it.
We aren’t lazy, stupid or unskilled.
Although, we’re often led to believe this is the case.
There are a wide range of reasons we struggle to meet every day demands, which will become apparent as you continue reading this post.
However, hope is not lost!
Autistic people often do very well with self employment, which is my chosen path.
Before I realised I was autistic, I thought I was just useless at being an adult. I felt like a lost child who would never grow up.
Now, I work on my own terms in my own time.
Life is considerably easier for me this way and I highly recommend giving it a go if you’re unemployed or struggling to stay sane in a regular job.
I’ve tried a few ways of working from home but my favourite, by far, is blogging.
If you’d like to give it a go, you can start for as little as $2.65 per month with Bluehost.
Unsure how to get started? Check out my FREE 5 Day Blogging Course, which comes with free one-on-one support.
You stim
Do you fidget, wiggle, spin and struggle to sit still?
If so, your repetitive movements could be stims.
Stimming is a self-soothing strategy as well as a means of emotional expression.
Autistics stim when stressed and overwhelmed but it also occurs when we’re overjoyed. Many of us get flappy when we’re happy.
You zone in to zone out
Do you depend on your phone for relief in overwhelming environments?
When you were young, did you escape into books or play with toys in busy places to cope with chaos?
Others may accuse you of zoning out, but you’re actually zoning into smaller, more manageable spaces.
Doing so allows you to self-regulate and prevent undesirable autism traits.
You have a hard time fitting in
Make no mistake, all autistics aren’t loners.
Some autistics are socially successful, but it’s usually due to adopting compensatory social strategies, such as masking.
More about masking in a moment.
The main thing you’re looking out for here is feeling like the odd one out.
You feel you’re different to everyone else and not because you have special snowflake syndrome.
Blending in is either impossible or requires significant effort.
It feels as though everyone else is abiding by a rule book they refuse to share.
Even when you try to follow what you perceive to be the rules, you manage to mess up.
You find norms and conventions confusing and wish people said what they meant and meant what they said.
You’re as direct as the Dutch
You say what you think, mean what you say and say what you mean.
Everyone else relies on mind reading to decode dishonest and indirect communication, as far as you’re concerned.
You’re a daydreamer
Do you spend a lot of time in your head?
You copy and paste behaviours
Do you observe others to analyse their behaviour to determine how you should behave?
You may copy and paste social scripts, mannerisms, gestures, facial expressions, phrases, outfits and interests.
Doing so enables you to survive socially.
This social survival strategy is known as autistic masking, which sounds more manipulative than it is.
You’re no stranger to burnout
Autistic burnout is an intensified, more frequent kind of burnout to the type allistic people experience.
Rather than regular causes of stress getting to us, we’re worn down by noisy environments, social situations and unexpected changes.
We either shut down or melt down when we reach this state.
You experience shutdowns
Does it ever feel like someone has pressed your off button?
Communicating, completing tasks and caring for yourself becomes impossible.
You may miss meals, isolate yourself and generally neglect your needs.
Shutdowns are not to be mistaken for depression. Although they can induce or worsen depression.
You have an aversion to eye contact
Do you avoid eye contact?
If not, do you force yourself to make eye contact because you know it’s expected?
If so, are you constantly calculating how long you should look?
Am I staring? When exactly should I look away?
They looked away. Maybe I should also look away.
Autistic eye contact aversion is often misinterpreted as shyness or social anxiety, which isn’t the case.
Although autistics often suffer from anxiety disorders, autistic eye contact aversion isn’t caused by anxiety.
The communication neurotypical people receive from meeting eyes isn’t there for autistics.
Eye contact feels intense, especially on top of all the other stimuli we struggle to process.
If we’re looking, we’re usually unable to listen.
However, in school, we’re told if we aren’t looking, we aren’t listening.
This is not the case for autistics.
You have limited interests
Are you often stumped when you’re asked what you enjoy?
Limited interests can present as not watching TV and films, not having a favourite band or musician, and being out of the loop.
We often live in our own little worlds and don’t have room for all the extra stuff.
You have very specific interests
Do you have very specific interests you think or talk about nonstop?
You may struggle to keep up with what’s trending at the moment and the people around you probably have no interest in the things that light you up.
If so, find your tribe online! Check Reddit and other communities to find link minded people.
They’re out there somewhere.
You find small talk senseless
What exactly is the function of small talk?
What am I supposed to say?
Why are we talking about the weather?
Let’s talk about something more meaningful.
You talk about your special interest to people who simply aren’t interested
If you aren’t interested in the topic, do you ever interject conversations with your special interest?
You don’t know when someone is uninterested
Unlike autistics, allistics don’t directly express when they’re uninterested in a topic.
Instead, they drop hints and use other indirect forms of communication, which we cannot detect.
Consequently, we don’t realise they’re irritated until they erupt.
You unintentionally cause offence
Do you ever receive unexpected reactions?
Maybe you’ve said something you thought would be relatable, funny or even meaningful, and it didn’t go how you anticipated.
Perhaps you’ve been told you went too far, spoke out of line, or worse, received harsh social rejection, leading to social isolation and confusion.
You’re left wondering what went wrong, what rule you broke, or why anyone would be offended by your well-intentioned words.
Even using the wrong tone can rub people the wrong way, and that’s a tricky one to get around because autistics often struggle to detect tone.
You don’t detect tone
Does delivery go over your head?
You find some phrases confusing
Delivery can’t go over one’s head. What an odd thing to say.
You tend to take things literally
Does it take you a moment to determine what others mean when using weird phrases?
Perhaps odd images come to mind before you realise what they mean.
You may be left in the metaphorical dark until you Google it.
You’re stupid for a smart person
Has anyone ever suggested you lack common sense?
You may achieve high grades but fail to grasp concepts everyone else seems to understand without trying.
You take things at face value
A smile = good.
Right?
Good people are to be trusted and definitely won’t take advantage of the vulnerability they’ve detected with their neurotypical superpowers.
Don’t beat yourself up if your autism has been taken advantage of.
You live, and you learn.
You rely on routines and rigid structures
Do you rely on routines?
Perhaps you do the same thing the same way at the same time every day.
You may eat the same meals most days or wear the same shoes for years.
You become distressed when plans change
How do you react to sudden or unexpected changes?
Does it feel like the world is ending?
As silly as it may seem to non-autistics, changes can be incredibly difficult for autistics to adapt to.
It’s not about not getting what we want. We aren’t brats.
We have great difficulty adapting to unexpected turns of events.
It’s why we rely on routine and form repetitive habits and why our interests are often extremely specific or restricted.
Familiarity is comforting, and change is distressing.
You’re no stranger to emotional outbursts
Fern Brady received some bizarre criticisms when she shared her experience with autistic meltdowns in her book, Strong Female Character.
Honestly? It makes me feel on edge about sharing the uglier side of autism, but let’s not sugarcoat what occurs when we reach breaking point.
Sensory overload, sudden changes to rigid routines, lack of sleep, and emotional overwhelm can lead to meltdowns.
Meltdowns in children are often mistaken for tantrums but meltdowns aren’t bratty overreactions.
Every autistic is different, but what you’re looking for here ranges from self-harm to trashing rooms and lashing out at others.
It’s not pretty or fun for anyone involved, including autistics.
However, autism is not an excuse for harming others or damaging property.
Some autistics have even tried to get away with murder, claiming a meltdown caused it.
Nice try, but no.
If you think you’ve been experiencing autistic meltdowns, I strongly suggest finding the route of the problem so you can prevent them.
Prevention is always better than cure, but it’d also be worth learning how to recover from meltdowns.
The internet is your oyster.
You can’t tell how someone is feeling by looking at their face
Do you find it difficult to understand how someone feels just by looking at their face?
Unfortunately, facial blindness leads many to wrongly assume autistics are incapable of empathy.
It’s not that we don’t care when someone is upset; we can’t see it on their face.
It doesn’t help that we also struggle to provide comfort.
You’re unsure how to comfort others
It’s not that you don’t care; you don’t know how to show that you do.
My autistic partner struggles to tell when I’m upset unless I let him know with words.
His solutions are often very practical and no, not just in the typical man way.
Autistic men are on another level!
You have hyper-focus abilities
Do you ever become highly immersed in a task?
Nothing else exists, and it feels as though you could stay focused forever.
Hyper-focused sessions can be highly productive if they’re directed, but they can also become a hindrance.
For example, you could use this ability to build a business from home, start a blog or sell on Etsy.
Or, you could hyper-focus on games all day, every day.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think every waking moment should be spent productively, but managing this ability can be tricky.
I habitually hyper-focus on special interests and gathering information, which is ultimately useless, so I’m not pointing fingers.
However, I recommend making the most of it if you can hyper-focus.
Don’t squander it.
Your social performance is the same in most social scenarios
Do you find yourself addressing most people in the same manner?
This can result in being informal in formal scenarios and vice versa.
You may dress up when you’re expected to present casually or keep it casual when you’re supposed to dress formally.
You have a hard time with housework
Most autistics have executive function disorder, and until I knew what this was, I just thought I was terrible at being an adult.
You rely on social scripts
Do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say before you arrive?
How about picking up lines from TV and movies?
Overhearing conversations and trying them out?
You’re a sensory seeker
Do you enjoy sensory stimuli more than most?
Think cosy jumpers, fluffy cushions and throws, lava lamps, mesmerising patterns and colour pallets.
You may also be drawn to specific sounds or smells.
Of course, most people enjoy these things, but they can be highly comforting to autistic people.
You enjoy spinning around
You walk on your tip toes
I have no idea why autistics walk on their tip toes, but it’s a thing.
You sometimes slip into an accent that isn’t your own
Do you ever talk in a different accent without meaning to?
You see the smaller picture
This trait is typically described as not seeing the bigger picture, but looking at it this way fails to recognise why.
If you miss the bigger picture, could it be because you pay attention to detail?
The more minor things that are insignificant to others stand out to you.
You notice them without trying.
You can taste shapes and colours
Do you ever taste colours or shapes?
How about experiencing textures as pointy or round?
This strange experience is called synesthesia and is experienced by 20% of autistics and 2-4% of the general population.
The brain routes sensory information through multiple unrelated senses, causing you to experience more than one sense simultaneously.
I’ve only had this happen twice and didn’t tell anyone because I thought they’d think I was high or crazy.
I was in the hospital the first time it happened.
My stress was through the roof because of my sensitivity to bright lights, and I began tasting blue.
I wasn’t eating anything, and there was nothing in my mouth.
I could taste the colour blue.
Then I tasted a square.
You have an amazing memory
Lewis (the boyfriend) bought me a painting called ‘Charity’ from a charity shop on the 29th of July 2021.
He had a dentist appointment that day, his taxi driver had a goatee beard, and Justin Timberlake’s Cry Me a River played on the radio.
I wasn’t there. He told me about it and sang that song all week.
My Grandma had a phone call with my cousin Lewis that day, and I went for a walk in the park and saw a grey-haired guy with a moustache walking his twin dog.
I spotted a squirrel in a tree and a cherry on the grass, which I thought was weird because there is a cherry in the painting.
My memory stretches right back to being a toddler.
Apparently, this is not normal.
I often wish I remembered useful information, but instead, I can recall events in too much detail.
How about you?
Do you remember more than most?
You have a lot of feelings
Contrary to my GP’s stereotypical assumption about autism, autistic people do not lack emotion.
Far from it!
Although many of us have alexithymia, which makes it challenging to identify and describe our emotions.
You have difficulty identifying and describing your emotions
Do you often find yourself unable to understand and express how you feel?
Perhaps your therapist was led to believe you were being uncooperative because you ‘refused’ to share how you felt.
Maybe your loved ones have expressed feeling shut out.
If only they knew you have as much access to information about your emotions as they do.
You struggle to communicate your needs
If you struggle to identify or describe your feelings, seeking help can become impossible, especially when therapists think you refuse to cooperate.
Next thing you know, you’re labelled as a problematic patient.
Good times.
You’re a walking encyclopaedia
Does the amount of information you’re able to retain surprise others?
Perhaps you do well in pub quizzes or think you’d win who wants to be a millionaire, or whatever gameshows geniuses star in these days.
You struggle to read the room
You don’t pick up on social dynamics, especially regarding large groups of unfamiliar faces.
This leaves you feeling misplaced and trying to figure out what to do with yourself.
Where do I stand? What should I say? When should I say it?
You’re a rule follower
When I was little, I was only allowed chocolate on Sundays, and I took this rule very seriously.
One Saturday, I was served an ice cream with chocolate on top.
I couldn’t cope with this wild turn of events.
Chocolate was (and still is) my favourite food, but I couldn’t bring myself to break the rule.
My world was turned upside down, and I went into full-blown panic.
I was overcome with emotions I couldn’t identify or describe.
To make matters worse, I became mute because I was in shutdown mode.
I was unable to let anyone know about this MASSIVE MISTAKE.
Chocolate is for Sundays, not Saturdays!
It wasn’t until I was asked why I wasn’t eating my ice cream that I whispered what was wrong.
I’m unsure why autistics follow the rules so religiously, but I suspect it’s because we rely on routines and structure for stability.
Get the rules wrong
Despite doing your best to stick to unwritten rules, you often get them wrong.
It would help if the rules were clarified, but social norms don’t work this way, unfortunately for us.
It feels like you’re communicating over a bad line
Do you often need to hear things more than once in order to process what’s being communicated?
It’s not that you don’t hear sounds; you don’t hear words.
The issue with this one is when someone thinks you didn’t hear them, they say it louder the second time.
Now you’re being sent sideways by sound.
You have non-verbal episodes
Do you ever go into mute mode?
You may want to look into Selective Mutism if you have non-verbal episodes.
Your mind goes blank when you’re put on the spot
You suddenly lose access to your name, age, address and questions you know the answers to when you’re put on the spot.
This isn’t a fun one to experience on dates or in class.
If your mind goes blank, it may be because you’re shutting down.
If you have selective mutism, it’ll mean going mute.
You struggle to say goodbye
Do you struggle to exit?
This trait typically presents as talking too much when you want to leave, e.g. struggling to hang up the phone.
On the other hand, your interactions may end abruptly without goodbyes.
You sort of just shoot off, sometimes with a sense that you did it wrong, but you didn’t know how else to escape.
If you manage to say goodbye, do you rely on a masked exit script?
So you think you’re autistic? Now what?
If you had an apostrophe epiphany while reading this post, I can only assume you need time to take it all in.
That’s okay. Take as long as you need.
Nothing has changed except for self-knowledge.
You’re now armed with information you can benefit from if you implement changes.
This may mean investing in some sound protection or other sensory comforts.
You may need to audit your home and find ways to make it more autism-friendly.
It may be worth informing your university so reasonable adjustments may be implemented.
You may have realised you ought to make amends with someone you offended without meaning to.
Now you can see things from their perspective and better explain yours.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you should apologise for being autistic, not at all.
Autism isn’t an excuse, but it often offers an explanation.
We shouldn’t get away with murder, but breaking norms we didn’t know existed is a forgivable offence.
At least, I think so.
As for coming out as autistic, I’d recommend carefully considering who you confide in.
Even health professionals are often in denial.
My doctor told me I didn’t understand autism, adding that a diagnosis is senseless because autism has no cure.
Most of the #actuallyautistic don’t want a cure.
Autism is often a double-edged sword.
There are as many positives as there are negatives.
Remember this if you find yourself spiralling downwards.
For every symptom you wish you didn’t experience, I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t want to sacrifice an enjoyable trait.
Imagine if your intellect, special interests, ability to hyper-focus and excellent memory were erased.
Autism isn’t just a set of symptoms listed in the DSM5.
Autism is you. Every part of you is autistic. This is not a disorder you have, despite the definition of ASD.
You do not have autism; you are autistic.
Always have been and always will be.
If you decide to pursue a diagnosis, everything you need to know about the process is in the free resource below.