Download Our Buy-Now-Pay-Later Burger App

McPayment Plans

Hey you. Want a burger? Don’t have fifteen bucks on you, but you get paid Friday? Download PattyPay, our new buy-now-pay-later food app.

We are now at the stage of the American experiment wherein your chips can come with guac, queso, or an installment plan.

Patty Pay isn’t like those sneaky bank cards with their upfront APR rates and right to dispute a charge. We don’t have interest fees at all! Instead we’ll just add a few late fees here and there. If you miss your due date by about three hours, we’ll write some fee amounts on cards and throw darts at them to determine what you owe next month.

Our new financing app is gratifying and trendy, as all charge account management should be. You can think of us as more like a game on your phone, in the sense that we’ve got endorphin-releasing widgets, we’re so easy to sign up for even a child can do it, and we aren’t federally required to report our data.

Actually, our app is even better than a game. Rather than playing a virtual character in some virtual scenario to get virtual points, you get to play a real person with real struggles who has to jump through continual hoops in…