Entrepreneurship, Medicaid & Mental Health

A series

5 Scenarios

Here are a list of five scenarios the reader may find themselves in and choose to read this series:

1. Feel obligated to take over the care of their aging loved ones
2. Cultural responsibility for any aging in their family
3. Only child — tag you’re it!
4. Estranged, but guilty and can’t just “let them die alone”
5. Trapped: the “wrong parent” is dying first

There were 5 signs I noticed in my loved one when I realized they may need assistance with their activities of daily living

5 Signs:

1. forgetfulness
2. irrational fear/thoughts
3. falling
4. irritability when introduced to something new
5. bad a math

This series is about how I started the conversation with them and a journey through my decision making for caring for them.

Things just started feeling, not quite right and I couldn’t put my finger on it. I can remember at first brushing it off and thinking, “They’re just getting older” But deep down, I did start to wonder: Is it time for me to step in as their caregiver?

If you’re reading this series and you’re new here, first THANKS! 🙂 I hope you find value in these truths of mine.

Secondly, it might be safe to say that the thought about having to become a caregiver has crossed your mind too? Well, I want to tell you, you’re not alone. Figuring out when to step in is beyond tough. And, let’s be real, the last thing you want is to overreact or make them feel like they’re losing their independence too soon.

There’s supposed to be a balance between-stepping in as a caregiver to assist versus stepping in as a caregiver to take over everything. There’s supposed to be a balance between offering the right help at the right time.

The word “caregiver” brings on a sudden feeling of dread or anxiety for me and I start to feel like the big bad wolf. For years I told myself, “I don’t want to interfere too soon,” or “They’ll be fine for a little longer.” The truth is, I was afraid and avoidant. No one wants to feel like they’re taking away someone’s independence prematurely, especially someone they love. But ignoring the signs for too long can lead to bigger problems down the road — like accidents or health declines that could have been prevented.

Signs I knew I Couldn’t Ignore:

I’ll be upfront with you — there’s no single moment where everything clicked, and I knew it was time to act. It was a gradual combination of small changes that piled up. A string of reactions that led me to taking action.

1. Memory Lapses: Everyone forgets things, but my loved one was missing regular appointments, forgetting to pay bills, and couldn’t recall things we had just talked about.
2. Mobility Issues: They started having trouble walking, getting up from chairs, or keeping their balance.
3. Changes in Cleanliness: I noticed their home suddenly looked uncharacteristically messy, it was a sign to me that they were struggling with daily tasks.
4. Health Mismanagement: Forgotten medications and skipped meals led to poor nutrition.
5. Emotional and Mental Wellbeing: Signs of depression, isolation, and irritability. When someone’s mental or emotional state changes, it’s often a cry for help, even if they won’t say it out loud.

How I Stepped In (Without Taking Over):

Let’s get practical. I saw the signs, and it became clear that help was needed.

1. I Started a Gentle Conversation: Instead of swooping in with my solutions, I asked about routines to better understand patterns so it would be easier for me to recognize when something wasn’t being tended to.
2. I Offered Help with Specific Tasks: Sometimes there are appointments that need to happen on a regular basis and it’s easy for me to add the event to my calendar and set a reminder for the day to “check in”.
3. I Involved Them in the Plan: I framed the conversation around sharing our visions of what it looked like for both of us to “get older”. So now I know what it looks like for them in their twilight years and I can plan accordingly.
4. I was Prepared for Resistance: For a long time — I got resistance or avoidance, but I was persistent and eventually, I was asked to manage their care.

Stepping in as a caregiver to me meant giving up my life and putting my loved one in my home tomorrow. It meant owning that the signs were real and that I couldn’t just offer help when needed or keep the lines of communication more open, I had to take massive action. At the time this series is being written, I’m on a six month timeline to move my aging loved one over 3,000 miles across the country to my home state. I’ll be blogging through the journey of navigating Medicaid, real estate investing, entrepreneurship, caregiving and mental health. I’m feeling unsure, overwhelmed, and like I need guidance so I’m writing the help I need.