How to write an elevator pitch that doesn’t suck — Favor the Bold Communications

I think we can all agree that professional networking events are the worst. 

You’re in some freezing conference center or a cheesy bar with bad wine, telling people what you do when you know they couldn’t care less, worrying every time you shake someone’s hand that yours is cold or sweaty (or both. Mine is somehow always both.), and handing out business cards like they’re free samples at the grocery store. 

And then, on top of all of that awkwardness and sweaty germ-sharing, you have to use your elevator speech. My god, I hate the elevator speech.

I don’t know who came up with that whole idea, but how the hell is the correct response to, “So, what do you do?” this: 
“I’m a communications professional with a knack for persuasive storytelling. My colleagues often compliment me for my thoughtful and engaging presentations, so I’m looking for insight as to how I can best position myself for a role in production or videography at a social impact start-up.” ← Actual recommended elevator pitch. 

Seriously, can you even imagine busting that out every time one of your aunts asks you what you do for a living?

Since I want to be part of the elevator pitch solution, not part of the problem, I’ve put together some tips on how to sell yourself, without sounding like an infomercial. 

This is where so many people go wrong with their elevator speech. They see it as a pitch, not a conversation between two human beings. Advice like, “Start with your why” is great for About pages, but sounds super awkward when someone is just making small talk. 

“But Elissa, everyone tells me I need an elevator speech!” And you do. 

But the point of preparing an elevator pitch isn’t to recite some long, confusing mission statement, throw your business card at the person and then run away hoping they’ll call you.

The point is to start a conversation.

It’s to engage them, get them to ask questions about what you do and ask them questions so that as the conversation goes on, you can adjust your pitch to their needs. 

So stop “pitching” people, and start just talking to them.