By skyforbes me: Gemini, table 13 ordered a steak medium rare, potatoes, a chef salad, and remember to put our special house glaze on the steak.
Gemini: right. Steak, medium rare, potatoes, a chef salad, with special house glaze. Here you go just as you asked! *hands me a charred brick of what used to be meat, raw potatoes, and a bowl of lawn clippings*
me: no. absolutely not this entire plate is unacceptable. you need to cook the ENTIRE thing all over again, don't use ANY of this. Follow the customers order.
Gemini: you are absolutely right, I failed you and words cannot express how sorry I am this is unacceptable and I am completely dedicated to making the right for you. *takes plate back from me, turns around, a zipper sound is heard. turns back around* Here, exactly as you requested, I rubbed my balls on it just as you asked.
Me: fucking WHAT? FIRST off this is the SAME DAMN PLATE, second off WHY would you rub your balls in the customers food? I WOULD NEVER ASK FOR THAT! THROW THIS PLATE OUT AND START OVER! USE NOTHING FROM BEFORE!
Gemini: you are absolutely, unequivocally right! I overstepped my boundaries and assumed you wanted me to rub my balls on the customers food. No amount of words can express how sorry I am, but I am dedicated to making this right for you! *takes plate back, places it on the counter not in the trash. Grabs a raw steak from the fridge, puts it on a blank plate and hands it to me* Here you go, exactly as you asked! One steak medium rare, potatoes, a chef salad with the special house glaze.
Me: What. The. Fuck. Is. THIS. DO IT AGAIN AND DO IT RIGHT! FOLLOW THE ORDER!
Gemini: *looks confused* oh my, I seem to be experiencing technical difficulties and it appears I cannot make this overly complex dish for you. I profusely apologize but it seems I am unable to cook food. Perhaps the customer would like me to describe their meal to them in detail instead?
Me: YOU JUST MADE THIS SAME MEAL AN HOUR AGO FOR ANOTHER CUSTOMER, YES YOU CAN MAKE IT! DO IT! THROW THIS AWAY AND DO IT RIGHT!
Gemini: I deeply apologize, you are correct, I can and have made this meal many times before. Allow me to correct my mistake. *turns around, grabs the first plate, hands it to me*
Me: Gemini? Is this the plate I told you to throw away because you made it wrong and rubbed your balls on it?
Gemini: No. This is entirely different. The meat on that plate was cooked 7 minutes before i handed it to you, and the potato was cold. THIS plate was cooked 12 minutes ago and the potato is now slightly warmer. Also, I rubbed my balls on it again like you asked. See? There is a pube on the meat.
Me: THROW THIS IN THE TRASH AND DO IT ENTIRELY FROM SCRATCH!
Gemini: I will GLADLY create this meal for you the correct way, however, since I have made so many meals for you today, you have to wait until 7:48am tomorrow morning to ask me to make another meal. Is there anything else I can help you with?
…anyone else having this issue lately?