By skyforbes 
It’s not about the scrolling
TikTok is almost a swear word in my house.
My husband is not a fan of social media in general, but TikTok in particular elicits eye rolls and snarky comments. LinkedIn gets a pass for its productivity and achievement-related content, but scrolling through TikTok invites some teasing, and I prefer to avoid it.
So I scroll with a hint of shame, mostly when no one is looking, and try to avoid starting any conversation with “I saw this thing on TikTok…”.
How I use TikTok
I’m a lurker, although I joined with the intention of posting to support my real estate business. I never got around to starting that — we kept our focus on Instagram. It’s a rare realtor who understands the authenticity required to achieve success on TikTok. Most of the real estate content falls flat.
I will readily admit, like all social media, TikTok can be a time-waster when not used responsibly. I reach for it when I want to procrastinate, avoiding something work-related or a chore I have been dreading. Sometimes, when insomnia strikes, which is often in perimenopause, it helps me to escape the hamster wheel of my mind.
It would be fair to point out, and it often is, that I could just as easily pick up a book from the seemingly endless stack I have waiting, and sometimes I do so.
But if not for TikTok, I fear I would have no idea what was truly happening in the world. It’s where I start most of my news consumption, often with first-hand accounts, live, from the ground.
Things I do not see being reported much or at all by the media, which pains me.
Sure, there is a lot of mindless, banal, negative, and sometimes harmful content on TikTok, but my algorithm is pretty solid, and I scroll past the noise.
Some of the creators in my feed have me laughing out loud, which is valuable these days, in a world where there is so much darkness.
I see great value there as a whole.
It’s not as much about the scrolling
The truth is, though, the real serotonin and dopamine hit I get from scrolling TikTok is not from the constant stimulation of endless scrolling. Okay, that’s probably not true. It’s unavoidable — brains be brainin’.
What gives me the greatest noticeable pleasure, though, is leaving positive comments.
I am, what you might call, the opposite of a troll. I derive great satisfaction from leaving kind comments for creators, uplifting them, and brightening their day.
I never leave something dismissive or bleak, even if the negative thought crosses my mind. I keep scrolling in those cases.
I might tell someone that I could listen to them narrate all day, or encourage a young person with a compliment about their writing skills.
Or I may boost someone who is struggling with their self-esteem and body image with a note about how beautiful they are.
If someone asks for help so the creator fund can pay them through views, saves, and shares, I am all in. I have a file to save their videos called “supporting,” and I do what I can. In rare cases, when called to, I’ll hit up a GoFundMe with a small donation.
My son tells me that this is all highly embarrassing. He’s twelve, though, so I’ll take that news with a grain of salt.
As a Gen X mom, I would love to think that there are people out there who would treat my kids the same way — that the world isn’t as dark as it feels sometimes.
I see many others treating TikTok the same way I do, as a platform to share positivity. There’s a massive army of us non-trolls (Pixies? Kindness Fairies?) out there, spreading goodwill, hopefully drowning out the miserable commenters.
I often see messages left by a friend of mine who shares my mindset, and apparently, my algorithm, when she’s arrived at a video before me, cheering someone on. It always makes me smile.
Kindness begets kindness, as they say. You never know what ripple effect might develop from a simple uplifting message left for a stranger.
Spreading kindness also creates a state of gratitude and peace within the giver’s heart.
So, while I don’t advocate for mindless scrolling on TikTok, and I think it’s essential to prioritize your goals and healthy habits, I do believe that hopping onto social media from time to time, and spreading love and kindness, is a valid choice.
Mel is on a midlife mission to rediscover her truest self by writing about the experiences that shaped her. After a turbulent childhood, a few career pivots, twenty-three years in real estate, single motherhood, the challenge of raising a blended family — plus a brush with breast cancer — she has plenty to say, and even more to explore. She hopes to help other women along the way. Mel is currently working on her first novel. Find her at wilsonsisters.com and instagram