Nobody Prepared Me for This by Jean John-Edo — A Book Review

I have not read too many books on death and grief, but the few I have read have lingered long in my heart. One of them is “When Breath Becomes Air” by Paul; this book left me in pieces and made me think about the afterlife as something that gains momentum from the present.

The second book about grief I am reading is the one I am writing a review of. For me, this book has helped me put a language to grief. I remember when I lost my father and how I ended up not shedding tears through the death and burial process, not because I don’t know how to cry or show emotions, but because nobody taught me about how to process grief truly.

Grief has a language. This book spoke the language to me, helped me learn the language, so I can speak back to grief.

The evening after work that I picked up this book, I wasn’t sure I wanted to read it because grief books are tricky- they can either hold you gently or leave you more broken than before, and if you are not strong, you can find yourself on a rollercoaster you did not plan.

So, I started reading “Nobody Prepared Me for This” and I finished it in 3 days. Not because it was an easy read – but because it held me. Every page felt like a mirror I didn’t know I needed.

This isn’t your typical “healing” book.

It doesn’t try to fix you or tell you how to move on.

It simply sits with you- in the ache, the guilt, the confusion; and somehow helps you breathe again.

Jean writes about grief the way people actually feel it- messy, unpredictable, and unapologetically human. She breaks it into four “sins”: Denial, Anger, Guilt, and Resentment. But instead of condemning these emotions, she shows us how they’re all part of surviving loss- the things we rarely talk about, the thoughts we whisper to ourselves when no one’s watching.

“This is not a book about grief as a gentle storm.
It is a book about grief as a riot.”

That line hit me like a wave because she’s right. Grief isn’t tidy, nor does it have a five-step ladder to healing.

It’s a storm that teaches you to rebuild.

Lessons that have stayed with me

1. Grief doesn’t end; it evolves.
This book reminded me that grief isn’t something you get over. It’s something you grow around. You learn to carry it- gently, differently, daily and with grace.

2. You can’t rush healing.
Jean doesn’t tell you to move on. She teaches you to move with it. There’s a calm honesty in her writing- like someone saying, “You’re not weak for feeling this way.”

3. Pain can be poetic- and that’s okay.
Every page reads like a soft ache- lyrical, yet heavy. Sometimes it comes as a song you can understand, sometimes you are unable to explain how you feel logical about it, especially when others want you to act in a certain way when processing grief.

4. Grief is not linear.
If you went expecting tidy chapters of healing or a linear progression, you won’t find it here. Jean shows us that grief is scattered, cyclical, and revisited in seasons we thought we had moved beyond. That truth alone makes the book feel real.

5. We carry unnameable emotions.
Throughout the four sins, you sense the weight of what cannot always be spoken. The guilt over being alive, the anger at silence, the resentment for what was lost. John-Edo gives them shapes and names — as if to say: I see this part of you, even the parts you hide from yourself.

6. You don’t “fix” grief — you integrate it.
This is perhaps the book’s deepest lesson. You don’t get beyond grief; you build around it. You change what you thought was inevitable, what you thought would always break you. Integration means growing with the wound, not ignoring it.

I think what makes “Nobody Prepared Me for This” special is how it validates silent pain. You might not be grieving a person- maybe it’s the loss of a dream, a version of yourself, or even faith. This book finds you there. It gives you permission to feel what you’ve been avoiding.

At one point, I paused and thought: Maybe grief isn’t meant to leave us, maybe it’s meant to reshape us.

And that’s exactly what

does.
She reshapes your understanding of loss until you start to see beauty in the brokenness.

Why You Should Read It

1. If you’ve ever felt unseen in your pain, this book will see you.
2. If you’ve ever wondered why healing feels so slow- this book will tell you why that’s okay.
3. If you’ve ever wanted words for emotions you couldn’t explain- this book will hand them to you.

It’s raw, unfiltered, and painfully human. You don’t finish it “fixed.” You finish it found.

To purchase a copy of this book, click this link- here or reach out to the author on IG here.

, thank you for writing this book. It feels like a warm hug after searching for how best to describe grief.