By skyforbes 
Political Satire
Because real patriots don’t get sick (and if they do, they shoot the virus)
BREAKING NEWS: Idaho’s UMSDERIWPFLEPI Unveils “Revolutionary” Medicaid Replacement Plan
In a bold move to slash government spending, the Ultra-Mega-Super-Duper Extreme Right Wing Patriot Freedom Liberty Eagle Party of Idaho has announced its groundbreaking “Pull Yourself Up By Your Own Pancreas” healthcare initiative.
Party spokesman Chuck “Freedom” Eagleston outlined the innovative cost-saving measures:
- The “Thoughts and Prayers” Medical Network
- Replace costly medications with mandatory hourly prayer circles
- Healing crystals (Made in Idaho™) covered at 100%
- Essential oils extracted from locally sourced potatoes
2. The “Constitutional Cure” Program
- Patients must recite the Second Amendment before receiving treatment
- All bandages must be red, white, and blue
- Medical debt can be paid off by attending Freedom Rally car parades
3. The “Free Market Fix-It-Yourself” Option