The Week in Review: October 24, 2025

· “MLK Jr. was the 1960s George Floyd and his ‘holiday’ should be ended and tossed into the seventh circle of hell where it belongs.” — Paul Ingrassia, Donald Trump’s pick to lead the Office of Special Counsel. Incidentally, he also admitted he has a “Nazi streak” in him. But keep telling yourself it’s just a few bad apples?

· The Louvre was robbed this week of millions of dollars worth of jewels in broad daylight, despite being under heavy guard. But don’t worry: your deodorant and Benadryl at CVS are safe and you will still be required to show ID (and wait 7 minutes) for access.

· Esquire Magazine reports that US Attorney Lindsey Hallligan, nee mediocre insurance attorney (who never once prosecuted a case. Ever.) forgot to tell Lawfare reporter Anna Bower that their text exchange was off the record. Oops. Gee, it’s almost like the people going after the so-called DEI hires aren’t actually qualified to do their jobs and were just employed because they were pretty and white.

· “I’ve loved basketball ever since Chauncey Billups fixed the NBA Finals.” — potential quote from Hyman Roth’s grandson in the (hopefully upcoming) sequel, Godfather IV. #IYKYK

· Trump pardoned Binance founder Changpeng Zhao, convicted felon who admitted to laundering hundreds of millions (but who is connected to the First Family’s crypto fortune). Meanwhile, in New York, federal officials rounded up street vendors selling knock-off purses and cheap umbrellas, each of whom’ll get 20 years in a supermax.

· On Saturday, Kim Kardashian showed up to the Academy Museum Gala wearing a gown that appeared to be constructed entirely of SKIMS underwear material, and a cloth bag, bound at the neck with jewels, covering her head and face. Between this and last week’s “hair panties,” is she just trolling us at this point?

· This week’s It’s Not All Christian Republicans, but it’s Always a Christian Republican spotlight is on John Sheptock, singer of the National Anthem at a 2022 Trump Rally. Sheptock was “ministering” at a woman’s prison this week where he was arrested on felony child pornography charges.

· This week on his social media page, Gavin Newsom offered knee pads to all the CEOs, universities and GOP members groveling to Donald Trump. No word on whether back braces will be offered to democrats.

· “Your Mother.” — Karoline “Klassy with a K” Leavitt’s text response to a legitimate journalist’s question about who in the Trump Administration suggested Budapest for the Ukraine-Russia talks (in light of Putin’s promises there in 1994).

· “It’s going to be a great show!” — Roger Goodell, giving a Master Class in how to gracefully tell white supremacists who signed a petition to remove Bad Bunny to go fuck themselves, after being asked by journalists for his response.

· People magazine this week revealed (the former “prince”) Andrew asked his police protection officer to dig up dirt on Mar-a-Lago employee and rape victim Virginia Guiffre to protect himself from scandal. Hmmm, might have just been easier (and cheaper) if we believed women.

· The NY Chapter of the Catholic organization, Sisters of Charity, blasted Cardinal Dolan for using his platform to praise Charlie Kirk. Now, that’s doing the Lord’s work.

· US ranchers are angry at Donald Trump because, despite voting for him, he is tanking their businesses with his plans to import more Argentinian beef. Similarly, US farmers (who also supported Trump) this week complained about tariffs making it nearly impossible to farm, forcing them to consider selling to conglomerates, as is clearly outlined in Project 2025 (which we begged them to read). It’s so unfair. They were only voting for racism and xenophobia, not their own demise.

· Former NY mayor, Eric Adams has announced he is endorsing Andrew Cuomo for Mayor. Congratulations on your successful campaign, Mamdani! You didn’t even have to pay for that endorsement.

· Answer there: He pulled food from the people, causing them to starve, while using funds to build lavish ballrooms. Who is Donald Trump, who bulldozed the East Wing of the White House to build himself a $250 million ballroom, while sending a letter to states advising SNAP benefits to 42 million Americans are likely to be cancelled or delayed. Sorry, no. The answer is communist dictator Nicolae Ceauşescu, who exported food farmed for the people of Romania in order to build giant ballrooms in Parliament. We would also have accepted Adolph Hitler or Joseph Stalin, though they starved people for more ideological reasons.

· “If he doesn’t respect America, he can go back to Puerto Rico.” — Erika Kirk, angry that Bad Bunny is performing at the Super Bowl. Um, who’s gonna tell her?

· The New York Times reported this week that Trump has opened the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling. Because fuck your grandkids!

· Trump, who suddenly (and pursuant to a phone call with Putin) reversed course on giving Ukraine tomahawk missiles, has now decided Ukraine should be divided up and given to Russia. Does that mean Arizona goes back to Mexico?

· Maria Efstratiou, owner of fashion start-up label Chimaera, told customers she won’t be carrying plus-sized clothing and told her would-be buyers they should just lose some weight. Maria, have you met Lex Wexner? Or his bankruptcy attorney?

· The Weaponized Diaper Award goes this week to Donald Trump, who The New York Post reports, was so incensed by the No Kings rally, he released an AI video of himself flying a fighter jet and dumping “waste” on attendees. I guess that’s our sign to keep it up.

Senator Merkley said it better than I did, when he spent nearly 24 hours on his feet this week, warning the American public (without breaks, even bathroom breaks), that the president and his administration are shredding the Constitution. There was a sign next to him that read “Ring the alarm bells. Authoritarianism is here now.” Among other statements, he noted, “we are in the most perilous moment . . . since the Civil War.” This is not a drill, folks. And if you thought it couldn’t happen in America, you’re in the thick of it (remember, Nazi Germany got a lot of its structure from studying US laws on segregation, interracial marriage bans, and immigration restrictions, primarily using US Jim Crow as a model). We can’t fuck this up. Stand up today, or be shipped off tomorrow. Any way you can. What are you drinking?