By skyforbes 
Do I wish I were more athletic!?? Please tell me you are joking.
You know I can jump, like, so so high. Like, crazy vertical. Remember when I jumped clean over your head at the park? I know you were laying on the ground because you fell when that dog was chasing us, but I cleared you off two feet.
And my arms are so strong! So strong. I dominated that arm wrestling competition at the Boys and Girls Club.
My agility is through the roof. Remember how good I was, dancing at your sister’s wedding?! I only fell because I was drunk.
A college scout saw me playing pickup basketball. He didn’t say anything, but, he was lookin.
I once beat Bon Jovi’s security guard in a thumb wrestle, best two out of three.
I planked for 6 minutes, with only two breaks but they didn’t even really count because I was just tired for a sec.
My reaction time is amazing, remember when I was texting and swerved right in time to miss that kid?
I can four-leaf-clover my tongue. My blood pressure is way over one hundred percent. I can do the ABCs starting at D and ending at R with no mistakes, I proved it to that cop. I can wiggle my ears and can even do one at a time.
Want to race? I’ll race you right now. Well, not like right now because I rolled my ankle on that curb coming out of Gamestop.