By skyforbes Now, some things to clear up before the update.
Vacation Time: I am not the only person off every December. There are two other people off as well who Haley did not ask to cancel. They are both mothers. There is no seniority involved. It's first come first serve for time off. Lastly, I am not monopolizing the Christmas holiday. In January, we all take one of the slower days and have a 2-3 hour lunch and go over the calendar for the year of proposed vacation time. I live in a very outdoorsy state so my coworkers who are big into outdoor things locally like hiking, camping and backpacking prefer spring and summer time off. I prefer domestic and international travel to local so December is a good time for me to take off and support my team. This was a collective decision and there has never been a time when I've said no to switching days off if I did not have any traveling or plans scheduled. I've always been flexible with my team. Also, at my company, you can use PTO after 30 days during your probationary period. It is strongly suggested you complete your training first and your supervisor has discretion to deny your request at any time.
Second, I was cold to Haley because she said to me "Since you don't have kids I figured you could cancel your vacation because…..". I immediately was going to shut her down because for child free people in the work place, it's a dangerous precedent to set that you'll always work when parents have something kid related going on. I replied with "I'm busy, sorry. No. š" and turned back around. That was my full statement. I did not give her a reason because frankly, I don't owe her details and she had rubbed me the wrong way from the start.
Last, Haley is not a younger girl still wet behind the ears with a toddler. After a conversation with a different coworker about the situation, Haley is 45 and her son is 16. This is not the "toddler in daycare" scene she set it up to be. I didn't know this information when we talked so it doesn't change my actions imo. Again, she started in October and is still training so we don't have a real personal foundation laid out yet.
Now for the update!
Yesterday morning I came in to an email from HR asking to interview me prior to Haleys meeting and my manager got one too. Lisa called me into her office to talk about it. She asked me why I got up and left so fast and I was honest with her. I told her that we both know that child free people sometimes get a stereotyped as child hating monsters and I felt Haley took it too far claiming I said things I didn't when it came to kids. Lisa said that was fair but it wouldn't have killed me to try to talk to her more and maybe hear her out. I've known Lisa for awhile so I was honest and said I wasn't willing to talk anymore after she told a few people I'm difficult it work with. Lisa was taken aback by that information and said Haley told her that she reacted the way she did because I cut her off and said as soon as she mentioned her son. I told Lisa that was wildly untrue and she can ask "Gram" who sits next to me. I listened to the entire thing. She sent a quick chat to Gram and he confirmed that I didn't cut her off and I was nice about saying no. She asked who Haley spoke to and I gave the three names given to me that she spoke with. Lisa said she would attempt to talk to them before the meeting on Friday to get a feel for what was actually said. She told me that Haley wanted to speak to me in a conference room and if I would be willing. I told her yes, because Reddit bullied me into maybe being nice.lol.
Haley came into the meeting and got right into asking why I needed all the vacation time I had. Immediately I felt irritated but let it go. I told her I don't want to discuss why om taking off because I don't even tell our boss why I'm gone. I request it, she approves it. For reference, our company is huge in letting employees know you do not have to tell anyone why you're out of the office, not even your boss. She scoffed and said she felt like I didn't care that she wanted to make memories with her son and that I didn't care that she would be missing time with him. I told her I'm sorry she felt that way but I didn't really think about it in any capacity and I felt she has misled me by saying she would need to find child care as her son is 16 (something a coworker who admitted he doesn't like Haley told me in order to let it be known her child is not a toddler as she let a few people believe). She told me not to speak about her son because he has crippling anxiety and needs care when she isn't home. I didn't speak anymore about it, but I did say I'm sorry to hear that but I'm not sure what else is there to say.
At that point, she asked me what days I would be giving her. I looked and her and said "Did you call this meeting to talk to me about what days I'll be working…?" and she said "Yes, what else would I be asking you about?" this set me off but I remained calm because the meeting was being recorded (get to that in a second) so I just said "I'm sorry, I think we missed something here. I was under the impression you wanted to formally apologize, not ask for the switch still. I'm not interested and I think we should end the meeting here.". She was extremely upset and said "So you're not giving me ANY of your days?!?! You don't have anything going on!!!" and I said "I'm sorry, but I'm going to go." and she said "What the fuck ever this is such favoritism bullshit!" I told her "That is fine. I'm going to end the recording here and leave the meeting.". I pushed end on the record and got up to leave.
She put her hand on my notebook (brought it out of habit) and said "Recording? There's no cameras in here." and I told her that I recorded it on my phone to stop anymore confusion about what I've actually said since there seems to be a misconception that I've said some pretty terrible things I haven't. She was visibly pissed off at this point and stormed out but doubled back and said "STATE is a consent recording state and you do NOT have my consent to record that meeting!". I told her to check her email and I moved past her back to my.desk.
In all our meetings, the notes say:
This meeting is being recorded. By accepting the invitation, you are giving consent to being recorded for necessary purposes
Well to me, this was necessary. I'm not sure if she is aware of this but I put that note in our meeting when I sent her a time to meet so I could record for my own protection.
So come this morning….
Haley is out sick. Lisa got an email from HR to reschedule the meeting for later next week as Haley emailed them saying she has Covid and hopes to be back next week.
So folks, the jury is still out and hopefully next week, this is behind us.